! I can be impatient and I know this but even when I am doing my best to accommodate the Boston, he ultimately makes me want to climb up a wall. My boyfriend was around for the last year and a half of my first dog and during the entire life of my second dog. It is protecting a member of its pack. The other issue is my cat is out in the living room, any movement from her and he jumps off the bed and starts whining or barking. I wish you happier days . Im currently going through another argument with DH. Thats just crazy! When she passed my macho husband was very sad, stayed by her side, and cried quite a bit. I really dont even know where to start. My problem however is not that either of our pets are his or mine or whether or not we love them. If you leave, it will hurt at first, it always does, as the movie Hope Floats has a very good line, Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but its whats in the middle that counts. And then they make lame excuses when it hurts someone or negatively impacts a relationship. she was not socialized properly or disciplined properly. There were so many other examples, but I believe this gives you a good idea of the hell I was living. We argue for 15 mins about the dog and I ask him to leave. If my SO does not do something with the cat we are done! He said he was fine with my poodles before we got married, but now wants them gone. Pet lovers, this is not how to make your non pet-loving spouse become an animal person. A muzzle doesnt help either, because my wife hates the stigma attached to dogs with a muzzle on, and she wants people to know what a loveable creature that piece of s*** is. So dont feel guilty. The relationship is still really new and at least Im trying. Is there anyway to get the min pin out of our beds? Each member has a priority level on this pack. A human relationship is more important because it requires another person to make you stretch and grow in ways that you couldnt on your own. The one you presented is simply the most popular. You could tell she loved him a lot. If you want to be with him youll have to compromise and so will he with regular baths, air fresheners, daily vacuum sessions even though it seems pointless, and boundaries until the dog is passes on. worse the way he thinks or trys to lie that his behavior wasnt that bad, or shes just a dog and will get over it. Me and my girlfriend have been together half a year. EVER in my life. So the dogs stay away from him whenever possible. Or perhaps animals have been the only creatures that have ever treated us better than our spouses or how our fellow humans. act. Over time, she grew to to love the dog, despite its timid behaviors. Her big thing is getting in the trash which I think every dog will do. I have a small senior dog who I live as if he were family. A significant relationship with another human or a lesser, much lesser relationship with an animal. I guess that my very first question would have to be to wonder how you end up with someone who so adamantly hates your pet if you have one. If you put the dog in his kennel to run up to the store even for a few seconds you have to turn the kennel towards the wall and push the couch behind it otherwise he escapes and destroys the house. There is NO excuse for a dog that bites a person!!!!! Aggressiveness when it comes to attention? We cant leave Jake alone. I ended up ordering our food to go, but still. He literally chewed through the bars. YES! He doesnt allow them in anymore and it KILLS ME. If I even walk into his apartment, Ive got hair on my clothes. I hate when people compare dirty animals to human babies it is not the same. Charlie, the next morning she said she was sorry and that evening we talked it out (lovingly and with a gentle heart) and she fully understands how i truly feel and how i received what she did that night. I must also add that over the past 6 months I have grown very much attached to his cat. Oh wait.a dog cant do those things so what is the debate then? I have not ever hated dogs. A trainer can work with you to make your pet a more mannerly member of the family, and a veterinarian can help you uncover hidden health problems that contribute to annoying behavior. I tried calling no answer, so text her why is your dog here? Finally one of my plates was chipped and I ask him to stop and he started using paper plates. Oh please Im just stressed that this is going to be the same thing! He doesnt say snide comments to his dog. Spoiled animal who is neither trained nor socialized. So occasionally he has/had an accident. There is always pee there when we come home from work and many times, he didnt even hit the pad, just big puddles on the floor around him. Suddenly he didnt want the dog sleeping with us. I cant tolerate this dog anymore but I know it will break my husbands heart. If you dont want to even see him because of his dog that he worships, its likely not the guy for you. He scratches people, pisses on the floor to get peoples attention. I accidentally stepped on her foot and caught myself (minimal impact). They are great dogs. Hey Im in the same situation but my dog lives with me. My SO and I have been together for 4.5 yrs and he moved in 3.5yrs ago with his cat. (He used to tell me on our early dates (together four years), that were dog oriented, how people looking at us giving glances were checking out his dog (not me). The man obviously has a very dysfunctional relationship with his dog. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. He makes my life miserable every time he calls he stupid or stupid fn dog. During the day she could just be loose. There is no way you need to treat an animal like that. "They are hesitant to commit to future events or activities, so they make up excuses in order to . Ive been understanding of this bc his mother had just passed. Once they are comfortable with one command, I am looking forward to moving to a new trick or command. My husband rarely grooms the cat so it vomits frequently around the house. We couldnt crate her at night because shed crap all over herself. Ridiculous. Johnston, S. (n.d.). I kept thinking, whats wrong with this picture? If she cant honestly support your dream 100 percent to me does not seem worth it. What pisses me off greatly is, his dog has nipped my kids and I have calmy told my kids not too play rough etc. When she arrived she was on the couch. If you attempt to put him another room, he will whine and cry until let out. I hope you guys can figure out something that works :). And then the begging by the table and petting them while we are eating and letting them lick the plats. He sleep at his own house. He was taught to stay off the furniture and we did not feed him from our plate, so he never begged for food. I was told by my friend today (he is a dog owner by the way), that he went with his wife to a restaurant in town and was eating on the patio. Calls her a good girl and constantly gives her treats and loves on her. No longer walking with anxiety over the man-dog/wife relationship. I love animals, sometimes more than people. She just knows my girlfriend will spaz on her too if she admits it. Now we visit them and hes mean to their dogs if his dog dont rule. I cant watch her 24/7 to keep her from going upstairs to the kids room and getting their stuff or stealing food. What about my feelings. They should not be in bed with you they should not be on furniture they should not be allowed near small children. That right there makes me feel like I am wasting my time. Its similar to the theory of our subconscious playing out in our dreams and that its a sign of our innermost desires. My mother in law had 2 dogs & before she died asked my husband to take care of the dogs. Their minds arent wired that way! Im trying to figure out what to do. If this is the situation, your husband/boyfriend is probably incorrect. I truly in all my heart believe that people who choose animal relationships over human ones need therapy. I bought a cage and put him in it at night. The dog doesnt know a leash nor rules. But after expressing my feelings towards my partner and them being disregarded, I mostly dont want the dog on the bed because my feelings were tossed to the side. I love him and we have been together for almost three years and counting. Hes attached himself to this dog to the point were now separated. I said the same verbiage with my ex, discussing someone else, and she thought that sounded like I hated dogs even though Ive owned in the past! I am really glad that I read through these comments. They can marry their damn dogs! Being dropped off at the shelter can be traumatizing for a pet. Then she lays with him in the bed and he cuddles With her and not me. We have a 7 month old baby and he is choosing his dog. I told my mom how I disrespected him over his interactions with his pet. JRs can maul people and seems to me many in cities have owners who think this is cute. I adopted a rescue from New York City who has been diagnosed with FELV. That wont change. For starters, chewing is something that pretty much all puppies do. I also told him that he will be responsible for paying her vet bills, buying and bringing her dog food, etc. Because my GF allows it now all people must suffer. Its akin to watching out of control kids with their parents oblivious to their behavior but very transparent to an observer. Well, I knew her allergy was total bullshit and a subtle way of getting back at me, but it triggered my partners argument about his own allergy and it has only snowballed from there, with her support, of course. She has said she supports my dream. Now you have to fully commit and promise that you will never leave this person no matter their flaws after having them make such a big emotional sacrifice for you. With that being said I lost all patience and I could never make her give up her dog so in my case (Not suggesting you do the same) I left!!! The problem is that people who love dogs can not fathom why there are people who dont like them. She has this dog that is very poorly trained, basically not trained at all. While I see him mostly on weekends, tonight I claimed sickness because I need peace and quiet. A squishy huge wet spot that I stepped in when I went to wake my daughter up for school. She has told me and her parents that she feels the same way. Ive actually stopped sleeping in the same bed because Fido hogs up so much of the bed that I cant ever get comfortable, so Im now sleeping in the 2nd bedroom while my boyfriend and the dog sleep together! He wants her to sleep in the bed with us but she wakes me up every night pulling my cover so I get up and sleep on the couch. If you cant fix that, then yes, you should break up. gets channeled to the dog with yelling. I had a 4 hour commute to work total so I was very busy and am disgusted by picking up dog excrements. Our relationship is wonderful, all except for disagreements on things I love. Just to add to my previous problem, discussed issue again with spouse. Some of you people are obsessive over your dogs and just plain silly if your willing to throw a relationship away because of dogs. Over the years Ive taken in three rescues that i got as puppies. Is it wrong of me after all day being with him and taking care of him to just want the night to myself and my boyfriend without the dog in there smelling up our room? Sounds like your partner is a narcissist, please join a narcissist support group on Facebook and check for yourself. I also find myself sleeping alone every night while the dog sleeps with him because if she sleeps in a kennel she whines because she has a severe case of separation anxiety from him. Not loved his dog, he was in love with his dog. She even kisses it on its mouth and gets offended when I dont kiss her directly after having her lips on the dog. I wonder if there is a certain type of individual that gets these beasts they call dogs? Would you be better to give him your ultimate sacrifice and find him a happy home to live the rest of his life? good luck! He pees everywhere no matter how many times you take him on a walk or let him outside. i feel terrible having feelings of anger towards a dog i feel worse having feelings of jealousy toward the dog.i told my husband this is crazy..im your wife..you married me not the dog wth man my wishes and needs dont mean anything to you i will leave when i am able.he didnt say anything to that.didnt seem to care..my husband is usually a very loving kind man my kids love him he is great with them..we should be spending time together excited about our new baby on the way..but the only thing he cares about in his free time is his dog and video games.help its making me extremely depressed. I started to resent her when I was outside with her waiting ten minutes for her to finally decide to go when I had so much to do for my 12 hour work day. The point is: he has no symptoms of allergy, no sneezing or running nose, has taken a test that came out negative, but yet he insists that his back pain is a different kind of allergic reaction and thats why the cat has to go. If you really want to control this situation, there are a few things you need to be aware of. I say someone who cant stand dog hair isnt a true dog lover. So whether youre young and single, newlywed or together 40 years as I have, take the steps: get off the tube and move out into reality; take the time to read some of the many good books about relationships; consider attending a seminar or two or three; talk with those with experience and seek their council. I have to set this up for you. So we tried a spray to make the couch taste bad so she wouldnt do it again. This is where the problem comes in, his Godchild got him a puppy for his birthday, his birthday was 2 months ago but he got the gift today. My bf could not bear to have Fido sleep on the floor, so now I have my own separate bedroom on the other side of the house. The wife admitted that she babied and held the dog all the time because she was feeling some kind of way now that her kids were teenagers and werent as dependent on her as much anymore. I thought Id be okay with having a dog in the house, but I am not adjusting well. I recently moved in with my girlfriend. How many times has your human company shown physical aggression and chased away a dog? She does not listen very much at all. In fact, thats how we ended up getting together. I cant take it anymore. My birds Ive had for 20 years. Doesnt see our kids. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. She cant scratch at the door to let us know she needs to go out luke our big dog so we thought the doggy for would be perfect since she can just go out when needed. They would cruise by give a friendly wag and meander off to go wander the yard. I too will stay away from pet owners if it comes to that point again. But I want to get your opinions, I want to know if how I feel is just insanity or am I being logical. They are allowed to be in the kitchen begging constantly at your heels and their breath becomes what you taste when you eat. Its not even the dogs fault, this is a situation that my boyfriend has created over the years, long before I was in the picture. I learned a lot from my last doggy relationship and its a blessing that it ended because I wouldnt like to live like that. I have always generally preferred animals to people, and I made all of this clear to my husband before we got married. I love animals. If you are confident you can please do ahead and try but if he carries on,please believe me,you are better off without your partner full stop. Sometimes there is poop everywhere! Leading with stern confidence (not aggression) is the absolute best thing you can do for a dog. I read nearly all of these comments, and I can totally relate to the frustration, because I too live with a dog that has a MYRIAD of biological/anxiety issues (and also sheds, drools, etc). Of course we spoiled the crud out of them too. Well I was in a toxic relationship for almost a year trying to help my now-ex overcome his addiction. I agree accidents can happen. And he was totally inflexible by saying that he wouldnt give up sleeping with his precious Mesa for anything. I spent a number of years working in mental health and have gotten feedback from old colleagues, I guess Im really just looking for some anonymous feedback on the situation. Its been 6 weeks now, and I still sob. Because they are animals. I was never happier to get an animal off my back. Cookie Notice I guess my advice is to ride it out because its not for forever. But apparently it was my fault because she walked in front of me while I was looking Ina store window. She literally reduces the home value, all so she can run around and beg for food. But as time goes on I feel more resentment. Now he reacts this way mainly because he has a bad ear and the barking is like a knife inside his head. Then slowly move onto the dog bed by itself and reward him when he stays. Since it was an "accident" the narcissist will argue you are blaming them for your dog's bad . Ultimately, his dogs comfort has proven to be worth more than mine! Here is my problem, my Husband is the dog lover, I love all trained obiediant animals, my husband sat with me and talked about getting a breed that requires extensive daily interactions and training, i told him i was not ready for that commitment, it would fall mainly on him. Allowing your kids to play with such a dog is just dangerous, and you need to realize that. Im still trying to get him to potty train.. Because of course, she is such a poor baby. Then we decided until she was potty trained fully, theres no sleeping in our room. No, asking him to find the dog a good home isnt asking too much at all. She also sniffs constantly. Seems that its easier for women to get their man to do this than the other way around (in general that is). I didnt know this when I met her but I thought she would have gotten more normal since she wasnt alone anymore and telling me she found the man of her dreams and how hard it is to meet someone like me but we would get into arguments about the bulldogs? He is low key and causes no trouble in the relationship. Mind you this is a small dog who has lived in the house his whole life. Im losing my mind. Again, fine. Commitment to do dogs ummm what about the commitment to your spouseseriously wow. Cats are cleaner than dogs and very easy to take care of. Thats borderline mental. I asked him to get rid of her more than once. Completely agree, do people really not realize that their human is there for life? Just like this is a huge change for both of you too! If a dog is never bathed, you are going to really have the dog smell and even worse when they are bigger dogs! They are not trained, they dont listen, they poop and pee in the house every day! At home training, if that doesnt work the next step professional training. The thing is that you have tried all the options and I respect that but clearly there is something very wrong with him and getting a dog sitter everytime you leave the house is giving into a tantrum. I was just saying keep them out while we eat for 30 minutes! A dog and a cat knows right from wrong. You already have another and dont need that sloppy thing. I dunno how because she was never bathed her entire life or brushed before we began living together. Divorce him? When I have tried to discipline him he barks and bites! I have also asked him to politely not allow the dog on the couch for the same reason no one wants to be sitting on dog fur when they come over to visit or to smell like a hound. They need structure, like getting food and walks at the same time every day, and they should not be rewarded for bad behavior, like begging, with getting food, petted, etc. Compromise does not work if you are asking someone to tolerate something they cant stand. I am torn with the relationship , I love the man but I dont what to do ? I dont mind dogs but dog is a dog not a baby and i expect them to behave as such that was agreed initially. The last big fight we had that almost ended our marriage was me telling her she didnt have to take the dog with her everywhere, and needed to get the dog used to being at home by herself so whenever we are both working outside of the home, the dog is not going through separation anxiety. Walk her 1-2 miles once in the morning and once at night. More was yet to come that day. I may sound angry right now because i am. This is why women ends up lonely with a dog for the rest of the life. Shed also sniff crotches. (That can provide the same amount of nutrition). Chihuahuas ARE demonic little beasts. Here are why do dogs get separation anxiety. and cherry on top she has a problem when we cuddle and affectionate. That does not mean you cant have a relationship with your pet or love it but like my girlfriend she lets the dog sleep on the bed and when it poops and pees theres a small useless punishment behind it. I was faced with the same thing. I dont even like touching dogs. Any suggestions? Depending on the dog, they dont live that long (smaller dogs live longer). If the dog cant be cured, and is posing a danger to you and others, then it is right to take a stand. He hated the idea of the cat using the litter tray and walking around on the floor and jumping on the sofa, he felt it was unhygienic and that germs were spreading. 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