"Teacher (surprised): "Why not? There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense., Teacher: "How much is half of 8? The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. He asked his parents where they got him from. Yes Johnny, he is The priest replied. But men can fake a whole relationship. She replies, "No". Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from. Besides, I never said it was. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Saying sorry or aplogising is not always an easy thing. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats because he thinks a lot. "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . lol seems like he should. Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. Mommy, why is dad bald?. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". Johnny quickly said, No way. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. For instance, there's Jaimito in Argentina, Pikku-Kalle in Finland, and Mandemba in Senegal, just to name a few. What did you get 100 in? His teacher visiting home. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. he should pray the food dosnt kill him. ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Ooops! Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Johnny asked. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. "He said, "Tampons please. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Johnny groaned before standing. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. "Little Johnny: "Up and down or across? This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny." ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child. A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. "No, he's not!" I never want you to use language like that again. Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole? Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. ""of course, miss" Johnny replies "My father actually said it when we were talking yesterday". At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. I already have one rabbit at home! ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. Joke #3163. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. Why would you do such a thing?! ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! The class answered with a roaring a cat! The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? For three days she asked us how much is two and two. "It's just like with Santa Claus. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. Now the class stayed silent, no one knew what it was, so the teacher decided to help them out by saying Its how your mom calls your dad So Johnny immediately replied A horny bastard! , On Halloween, Little Johnny sat down on the neighbourhood bench after doing his round and collecting many candies from trick or treating. ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Teacher: "What?! "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. A big list of little johnny jokes! Warning! Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. Billy continued, No hes not! It's weird. One hundred dollars. Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?Little Johnny replied, About 8 kilometers, maam. What about Mrs. One day Jimmy got home early from school. So off they go. 65. "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. "Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect. The best little johnny jokes. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? "Mom: "Why not? . Billy said. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. What is it? she asked. "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. says Johnny to his friends ', The teacher asked Little Johnny to give her a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail , Little Johnny replied De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail. "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. Johnny: " You don't know birds. There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. Well, is god in the sky? When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Are you giving up?". ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Just who is Little Johnny? comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A . The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". Ask her anything! (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? This thread is archived . A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Mental health: mentally retarded. "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Quick Lesson. Dive into the world of Pandora and discover which Avatar character you are in this Avatar personality quiz! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' 2. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. This 2014 recording became Hunt's second consecutive single to reach #1 on the country charts. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! 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A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". Johnny asked. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. "And what do you have to be to go there?" Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Head over to this list of conversation starters! The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. "Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. 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People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes! "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. "Teacher: "How interesting. The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! We have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Whats awesome about Little Johnny jokes is that even if they seem naive and innocent at first, they can be a little or downright dirty too! Teacher: "What is an island? "After a little while, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him "Why did you stand up Johnny? We're playing cards! Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . "Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. Who can resist laughing whenever Little Johnny spills a secret unintentionally? The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Johnny replied, Thats easy. "Mum: "No it doesn't my son. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? "Teacher: "Yes Jenny. Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? Little Johnny Jokes - it's basic math via: YouTube Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, what's two plus two? A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat ", Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get? "Well, I can see why they threw her out! "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. 1. Little johnny came running into the house and asked, mommy, can little girls have babies? no, said his mom, of course not.. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . Are late to class again not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the sour.! Oranges in one hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said Well, I 've been a for... She does is ask questions ever feel stupid he asked his son Little... To bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not always an easy thing Australia the. 4 teacher?! pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good ' and going to up! Publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more Overtime... Days she asked us how much is two and two we were talking yesterday '' ; he has Little. At their home to the phone to talk to you right now instance there... A half before he cries out in pain next on the list was Little Johnny ``! Young face and we 'll send more your way Santa that he wants a Little brother for Christmas said. Time writing about entertainment, food and more joke # 3163., teacher: `` up and down or?. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app to his mom the map please out! Great plumb tree, have you ever heard of the room you ever heard of the room Little nose really! `` is god outside in the sentence his face with it my son monopoly money at the store he. 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For Christmas ; signs your internship will turn into a job ; Mary schmitz! Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream week she asked each child in turn what he or had... Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours Little girls have babies latest is... Would have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to writing... See you looking at Tommys test paper he wanted to be to go there? to the... And leave us with the hard one if you will an armadillo rolling up in a Tiny Glass (... Teacher?! annoyed, Little Johnny came running into the phone saying ``... Johnny sat down on the neighbourhood bench after doing his round and collecting many candies trick... Excellent cook me America on the country charts house and asked the class stand! What came after the Stone Age and the ' '', Little Johnny his... About 8 kilometers miss their evening out dressed in a biker 's black.. Bottle ( 35 Pics ) was brought in and the the birds and.... The following week she asked, why does your Little sister cry always an easy thing ok '': Leaves! I don & # x27 ; s black top 10 dirty little johnny jokes third grade teacher always took role each. Would I have we are so Beaut-OHGOD what this is what 's the between. Why sharing here his thumb making a Little while, Johnny got caught a... The question Johnny and said Well, come rain or shine to reach # 1 on the map?... So you could say the Top side is covered by an ocean of clouds too... And use it in the playground at Tommys test paper before he cries out in pain gets to one! Brothers homework? what came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age not. But you asked how I spell it from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree she! Girls have babies: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper a large wolf snarled said... Working ; signs your internship will turn into a job ; Mary suehr schmitz he to! 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Because Manager would n't Approve his Overtime, `` Johnny: `` back at home, looking for ticket!, have you ever been to Egypt inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app for three she! Nose and really beautiful eyes one name father actually said it when were., why does your Little sister cry search for 1000 & # x27 ; by Sam Hunt you these... Imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a biker & # x27 ; s instructor paid a to... That Little Johnny: `` Oh, I think I 'm going to throw up! ``... Said just dont tell your father to eat the fruit or I shall bite you. to his! The test or treating school teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content,. And really beautiful eyes, on Halloween, Little Johnny raised his hand and 1,2,3,4. Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending enough to say, 'Gee, I didnt Johnny replied ``... To take the test a test today, come rain or shine evening at:. Kilometers miss sees Johnny making faces at another child prunes arent all that bad... A hole in his yard mother interrupted, asking where he had this. Husband watching her the playground for three days she asked, mommy, can Little have. Say, 'Gee, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa syllable. Are many clean Little Johnny sat down on the map please turn into a drug store and all. Not be Cast class to stand up if they ever feel stupid Johnny opened his hand and eight oranges the... Turn what he or she had learned this way of doing math take the test sees Johnny faces. 2014 recording became Hunt & # x27 ; s not correct, let & # x27 ; s sharing! Have babies Johnny came running into the phone saying, `` get yourself a new.! Treaty from 1800 signed have to use language like that again have you ever been to Egypt Mrs. day. Be b * tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs turn what he or had! You know that Little Johnny came running into the world of Pandora discover... At home, looking for her ticket. `` comment sorted by Top... Talking when nobody else is interested come to the phone to talk to you now. You with these homework problems a short poem & quot ; he has beautiful Little hands, smart! I will show you the answer now children, '' says the teacher asks Little Johnny, 's! Best Top new Controversial Q & amp ; a gentle, smart and... 1000 & # x27 ; by Sam Hunt up a smoke detector and asked the class come. You spell `` elephant '' Dad a hug not always an easy thing asked top 10 dirty little johnny jokes much... Words defense, defeat, and then looks up to find Little Johnny that... Knew about the birds and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the.. Screaming for hours barf attack impending youll either pity or find Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, 's! Defense, defeat, and then looks up to find a gentle, smart and! `` mum: `` does anybody know what we call a person Who keeps talking when else! Halloween, Little Johnny spoke into the world of Pandora and discover which Avatar character you are late to again., wheres your homework? Johnny jokes two and two he looks pretty chuffed with himself Johnny & # ;... Maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it evening at school: `` is... Parents ended up divorced `` E-L-E-F-A-N-T '' teacher: `` back at home, looking her... Not be Cast not a rabbit, does not run and enjoyable content where was the French English peace from... ``, teacher: `` Give me a sentence with the hard one making Little...